Tuesday, January 6, 2015

Mostly Chickens

Sorry I missed yesterday, but the last two weeks have actually been spent having terrible, terrible, TERRIBLE* computer trouble. In fact, this blog post was written on my mom's computer which I am borrowing until she gets home from work. Needless to say, not much novel has been done since the file is on a little portable hard drive which I am keeping in a deep box of packing peanuts behind bullet-proof glass.

I have been reading a lot though and have had a glorious time writing journal entries in the beautiful empty books I received for Christmas.**

I do have a little belated Christmas present for you all today, though. My uncle showed this to me when we were at my mother's family for Christmas festivities and I laughed so hard my abs were sore the next day. It's a Monty Python Skit which explores the idea of novel writing as a spectator sport. Oh, my goodness, am I glad this isn't how it really works. Enjoy!


* So terrible, I gave up and returned it. If you're looking out for a new computer, I would encourage you not to get an HP. Both Susan and I have had a wretched time recently with new HP computers not working properly and then, to top it off, their customer service is quite awful.

** If this was a homesteading blog instead of a writing blog, this would have been an extra long blog post. A raccoon got into our chicken coop a couple of times over the last week and ate four of our laying hens. This terrified the remaining six so badly that they started refusing to go back in the coop at night and instead were hiding in bizarre places.

I had to go out and find each of them and carry them individually back to their coop. I didn't let them out for several days hoping to solve the problem, and they seem to be back to normal as far as coming back. However, they have decided they want to sleep in their nesting boxes not on their roost, which means that I've been going out to personally remove them from their nesting boxes and set them on their roost.^

This is Speckled Chicken #2 trying to roost
in our orange tree.

Red Chicken decided the only place to be was in the rafters of the shed.
My brother had to stand on a garbage can to get her down.

^This is actually harder than it sounds because chickens are some of the most oddly political animals we have ever kept. It's called a "pecking order" for a reason. The first night I put them on what I would later learn was the Wrong Roost, facing the Wrong Direction, in the Wrong Order.

There was fighting. Someone lost a couple of tail feathers. Someone else got shoved off the end of the roost and ended up in an inelegant heap on the coop floor.

After a few nights, though, I figured it out and last night everyone was quiet as could be and settled down right away.

Would you like to know the Perfect Chicken Order since I now have it memorized? Never mind, I'm telling you anyway. It goes like this: Red Chicken, Blond Chicken, Wimpy Chicken, Speckled Chicken #1, Speckled Chicken #2, and Mrs. Bennet on the end. 


  1. Chickens are interesting beasts - we're learning this too. Hope your chickens will be able to enjoy their home again and lay many an egg to come ;)

  2. I thought the ** was going to take me to pictures of the pretty empty books. I want to see them!

  3. great information provided.

  4. Maybe it's largely to do with my inner Will Scarlet (who, for no apparent reason, is kind of obsessed with chickens), but I got a grand kick out of this post. X)